Every success, regret, experience that took place in the past shaped the person we are today. We have no control of that in any way. Sure, the way our present looks like right now is a consequence of what happened before. But if you keep holding on to memories and circumstances that you know you can’t change in any form, that picture of a better future that you have imagined will never come. Your present will never change. So don’t let your past influence your future. Instead, focus on the dreams you secretly hold, what you want to attain, the different traits and characteristics that make you a unique individual.  Let all of THOSE influence who you are today, every decision you take in the present. Are you the person you always imagined you would be by now? It’s not about immediate satisfaction, but a paradigm shift.

What is more important to you? Think of that. There are a lot of things you need to get rid of. What would happen if you could? What would happen if you did? What would be left?

Focus on all you consider worth achieving and keeping in your life.

Live based on that.

Q&A… What’s Up With Lent?

leeyounger:

cousined asked:

Hey Bilbro Baggins. I was talking at my lunch table today with some kids and they were talking about lent. I know what it is but like hearing their opinions. I don’t do lent just cause I wasn’t raised with it. So, lent. Yes, no maybe so? Biblical? I’m a little confused on it especially because the non-practicing Christians/catholics/whatever’s who don’t normally care about Jesus do it too. So I’m just wondering thoughts. Thanks Lee :)

..

So I Said:

 

Ed! First of all dude, you crack me up. I love getting messages from you because I know I’m going to find some hilarious and creative rendering of the word ‘brother’ - and, you didn’t disappoint - “Bilbro Baggins” is pure gold. So thanks for that!

 

Okay, let’s talk about Lent. 

 

For those of you who don’t know, Lent is a season in the official, traditional church calendar. It’s the 40 days leading up to Easter (from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday) and it’s typically observed by some type of self-denial as a discipline to get a person’s heart ready for Holy Week and the remembrance of Jesus’ death on the cross. 

 

Please allow me to take a nerdy, but short break from answering the heart of this question while I deal with the etymology (or word origin) of Lent:

{The word ‘Lent’ or ‘Lenten’ season comes from either the Old English word for ‘Springtime’ or the old Germanic word for ‘Lengthen’ - as in the lengthening of days in Spring which are related words}

 

Okay, we’re back! Whew… You may see people at school or around town today who show up with a cross drawn on their forehead out of ashes. That’s because today is actually Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. The reason they do this is as a sign of repentance to God and to mark the beginning of this period of fasting and prayer. The reason for the 40 days is because Jesus fasted in the wilderness for 40 days before beginning His public ministry. Other than that, there is nothing in the Bible that says we are supposed to observe a 40-day fast in preparation of Good Friday and Easter Sunday…

 

You’ll hear people talking about giving up certain things for Lent. The idea is that they want to discipline themselves and cut something out of their life so that their heart and mind is turned toward God for Holy Week when it comes around. Sometimes you’ll hear that people have given up meat or chocolate or even Facebook or Tumblr. I have a good friend who gave up make-up one year for Lent. 

 

I know plenty of people who observe Lent, fast from certain things for the 40 days and then go back to those things afterward and love the whole process. They feel close to the Lord having done that, and they learn something about themselves in the process. For those folks, I say, “Cool. Go for it.” I am in favor of anything that makes a person feel more connected to, or more devoted to, or more in love with Jesus. I have tons of friends and people I really love and respect who observe Lent and that is awesome.

 

On the other hand, I don’t personally observe Lent. Like you, I didn’t grow up doing it, but that’s not why I don’t do it. Here’s the way I see it personally in my life: If there is something in my life that’s holding me back from being close to Jesus, or keeping me from really understanding Him and His cross, I want rid of it. Not for 40 days, but for good. If Facebook has become a problem for me spiritually, I don’t need to fast from Facebook; I need to close my account.

 

Now, as far as people who don’t know or love Jesus observing Lent, well, that’s a whole ‘nother set of problems… The end of Colossians chapter 2 says that merely observing certain rituals for the sake of self-denial as a form of achieving some type of holiness doesn’t actually work in any way. It doesn’t make you closer to God and it does not help you restrain your sensual indulgence. So, if a non-believer tries to know Jesus by ‘doing something’ like Lent, they’re probably just going to be frustrated and understand Him less.

 

The important thing there is to remember the Gospel. The Good News is that Jesus died on the cross to pay for all of our wrong. He died to pay for our lack of discipline and our inability to save or change ourselves. He offers us eternal forgiveness and His own righteousness for FREE and there is no rite or ceremony we could ever perform that could earn even the slightest part of that gift He offers freely. We just have to accept and receive it. 

 

Thanks Ed. You rock, and I mean that.

..

ASK ME A QUESTION

This week’s

J. And her manipulations C and her manipulations

French professor. School.

Staying at some random place, children, T&L having sex and me interrupting (?)

Me jealous?

WTH

WTH WTH WTH

M got the paper in the horror movie.

Who starred in it as well? My ex bff J.

WHAT. It’s just too much coincidence.

This is the part of the movie where he screams “FUCK OFF!” and knocks something off a table before collapsing in tears, which leads to a montage of him walking around the city alone, accidently bumping into people while a sad indie song plays over it.

newtwinsizedbed:

I watch too many movies.

Chaque jour un peu plus

Je meurs d’envie de te supplier que tu ne pars pas, ma vie,
Je meurs d’envie de t’entendre dire les choses que tu ne diras jamais,
De vous faire immensément heureux sans aucun mot

Donc je garde l’espoir d’être capable un jour
De devenir encore plus que prévu dans tes rêves
De faire chaque jour crée ainsi un nouveau chapitre à notre histoire.
Parce que je t’aime chaque jour un peu plus.

Je meurs d’envie de que tu me serres dans tes bras et que je te serre aussi fort,
Je meurs d’envie de t’amuser
Et que tu m’embrasses lorsque je me réveille
Et ta tête reposant sur ma poitrine
Jusqu’à ce que le soleil apparaisse.

Je me perds dans tes yeux,
Je me perds dans tes lèvres
Qui s’approchent susurrant des mots
Qui arrivent à ce pauvre cœur,
Je sens le feu à l’intérieur.

Je meurs d’envie de te connaître, savoir ce que tu penses,
Ouvrir toutes les portes
Et vaincre ces torrents qui voudront nous abattre
Centrer en tes yeux mon regard,
Chanter avec toi à l’aube,
Et pouvoir nous embrasser jusqu’à dessécher nos lèvres

Et voir dans ton visage, chaque jour, grandir cette graine,
Créer, rêver, laisser tout surgir,
Laissant de côté la peur à la souffrance

Je meurs d’envie de t’expliquer ce qui passe par mon esprit,
Je meurs d’envie de t’intriguer et de continuer à être capable de te surprendre,
Sentir chaque jour ce coup de flèche quand je te regarde amoureusement,
Qu’importe ce qu’ils disent qu’importe ce qu’ils pensent
Si je suis folle c’est mon problème
Et maintenant je recommence à voir le monde en ma faveur,

Je recommence à voir briller la lumière du soleil.

Je meurs d’envie de te connaître, savoir ce que tu penses,
Ouvrir toutes les portes
Et vaincre ces torrents qui voudront nous abattre
Centrer en tes yeux mon regard,
Chanter avec toi à l’aube,
Et pouvoir nous embrasser jusqu’à dessécher nos lèvres

Et voir dans ton visage, chaque jour, grandir cette graine,
Créer, rêver, laisser tout surgir,
Laissant de côté la peur à la souffrance

I believe I was 16 the first time I did it. I had been tempted to do it way before, perhaps since I was 13, but I never did because I was too scared and in hindsight my problems weren’t that big of a deal compared to later. I even was the type of girl that would advise their friends not to do it. They would tell me about each time they got to do it and in my ignorance, I’d judge them in my mind. But then one day I couldn’t stand it anymore and I had a razor blade. But then one day I had a huge fight with my mother, nothing new. But something she said hurt me like nothing ever before. During that time I had lost my 2 closest friends and felt really heartbroken. And I had been depressed for a while. I couldn’t stand it anymore and I had a razor blade. I thought at least 20 minutes whether or not to do it. Although I was still afraid of what would happen, I felt like it was the only way I could get rid of all those trapped feelings within myself. Angst, resentment, hopelessness. By that moment I already had the blade in my hand. So I got the blade closer right above my left hand wrist. I closed my eyes and did it horizontally. The second I opened back my eyes, it was all covered in blood. I got really scared, I was naive and didn’t know much about it so I thought I was in serious problems. I covered my wrist in lots of tissue paper but the blood got through it. I didn’t leave my room til next afternoon. I wore long sleeves and a big watch or lots of bracelets. No one noticed. And that’s it.

LOL

LOL

Dreams Feb 9

• La Brasil again. A bus, an avenue, me, not so on time, nice strangers, creepy strangers. Mom.. School.
• Apex, helping organize things and move stuff into K’s new apartment. I found something among his belongings, something cute/ funny can’t remember well.

Aparcando el miedo a sufrir

The later I post the weirder my thoughts get.

Me muero por intrigarte Y sorprenderte algun dia Me muero por sentir cada dia Ese flechazo al verte Que mas dara lo que digan Que mas dara lo que piensen Si estoy loca, es cosa mia.

Me muero por conocerte Saber que es lo que piensas Abrir todas tus puertas Y vencer esas tormentas que nos quieran abatir

Centrar en tus ojos, mi mirada Cantar contigo al alba Besarnos hasta desgastarnos nuestros labios

Y ver en tu rostro, cada dia….

This is to remind you guys can still make you smile

Hug me

Now I’m not gonna lie, I wish I was pretty.

Before, I didn’t even care. But now it’s not only about me, but you.

Why am I crying?

I feel like back in high school, where these painful emotions were just a waste of time, yet that is not convincing enough for me to get rid of them. Everyone laughs, I can’t trust them. I bet they don’t even care, I bet he doesn’t even care, yet why does it hurt so much? Spilled milk. They’ll never get it. That milk on the floor wants to be drunk, wants to satiate your thirst, but you just walk all over it. If that same milk were in a glass, you wouldn’t even hesitate drinking it. I’m not thirsty, but I don’t want it to be wasted. So I drink it. It satisfies me in ways I had not expected, and you all laugh at me, for you think I’m blind and out of my mind. And you make me feel like I worried in vain, like that milk wasn’t worth my humiliation. And to my surprise, even the drops of milk sliding down my dry lips wish they could satisfy all of you, every single one of you, but me. If it weren’t for me, the milk would still be on the floor. Because of me, the milk now knows what is it’s worth. And now I feel vulnerable, even when the milk has traveled down my throat, because I know where it wishes to be instead. In a glass, held by your hands, not mine. And you all continue laughing, at the spilled milk, at my confused yet hopeful eyes. I wonder what you’ll reaction be when you notice there’s no more milk to drink but the one that’s already inside me. Will I be the one laughing?

The only thing that matters is whether or not my stomach will handle such milk well enough.

Confidence helps, but I’m not just a book you want to read and understand.

I’m not just a song you want to listen to.

I’m not just a poem you want to relate to.

I’m not just a heart that beats for you.

I’m not just a soul that longs for you.

I understand… I wish you didn’t have to settle for something you don’t really want. So I hope you do. I really do. I don’t want you to ever regret this.